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# Finding My Spiritual Depth Again: Why I’m Finally Writing
- URL: https://www.northofenough.co/finding-my-spiritual-depth-again/
- Published: 2026-11-14T16:58:05.000Z
- Updated: 2026-11-14T18:20:01.000Z
- Description: After a decade of climbing the ladder, grieving, reconciling, and finally voting, I’m writing my way back to art, music, and the spiritual depth I lost along the way. Come grow something with me.
- Author: December
- Tags: spirituality, selfdiscovery, burnout, creativity, findingpurposeinyour30s

I had an overwhelming urge to write, share, and connect, and I finally gave in. I’m staying anonymous behind a pen name, but I plan to share everything with you.

The whole purpose is to connect with you on a deeper level so I can keep my spiritual depth alive, growing, and healthy. Without it, life hasn’t been much fun.

**I’m writing this at a strange moment.**

I write this as the skies went quiet when air traffic communications went down, just a day after the inbox most rely on for work went dark for an entire day. Both came only days after the news cycle served up a tech mogul’s messy scandal. Ridiculous timeline.

I write this after going from never voting to finally casting my vote for Talarico, hoping to help make history in the place I call home, with the whole world cheering us on.

I write this after another round of distant grieving this year (a friend), having done the same the year before (my grandpa).

I write this after reconciling with my sister, with whom I had no real relationship for a decade.

I write this after conquering a decades-long climb up the professional ladder and earning rewards I once couldn’t imagine, for stressful work that cost me my health.

I write this after finally leaving toxic working relationships behind. It took three years, and I came out psychologically winning.

I write this after realizing how deeply I long to reignite art, music, and expression in my daily life, because my work has been carelessly sacrificing my soul to the capitalist devil.

And I write this having finally admitted something: I grew up with an abundance of spiritual practice. My spiritual cup was full as a child, until one day it started draining. Today I’ve hit my spiritual rock bottom, and I’m wondering how I’m living a life that doesn’t fuel it. I long for it. Is that because I’m missing it, or because I need it? I’m not sure. What I do know is that the material rewards I crave, and keep achieving, have left me empty.

**What is the world we live in? Who am I in it?**

It doesn’t help that tech is moving faster than I can say “technology” out loud. I blink and there’s another advancement that will change our way of life, while a whole civilization endures genocide and capitalism cheers on. It’s fucked up.

Naturally, as someone in my 30s who still believes in humanity, this challenges every neuron in my brain. I struggle to make sense of how we got here, how *I* got here, and somehow feel good about where we’re heading.

No wonder I want to define beauty in my own life. I want to paint an abstract picture that gives beauty to the chaos. I want to craft a home that’s exactly how I want it, so I have control over one internal space when the external world is heading in the wrong direction. I want to marry a man who understands my spiritual needs, someone who can tell me “it’s going to be okay” when a 9-to-5 ends in an existential crisis.

**Why I’m here**

Maybe I’m on Ghost to figure out how to direct my ambition instead of taming it. Maybe I’m here to use the skills I’ve built to wake up a part of me that’s been hibernating. Maybe I’m here to make friends who are on their own self-actualizing journeys.

Whatever it is, I’m ready. See you weekly. Let’s grow something together.

**Let’s keep this conversation going.**

I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment and tell me where you are on your own journey. Are you chasing the ambition, craving the art, or trying to find your way back to something spiritual? If you want to grow alongside me, subscribe to get each weekly post in your inbox. No pressure, just real writing and a little company.

With ambition,  
December